I had the opportunity to attend Lumenocity at Washington Park, and the show was absolutely amazing. The music, the lights, the food trucks. It was estimated that there were 15,000 people in attendance, so as you might imagine, we were elbow to elbow. This lead to some tense situations, and I was prompted to wonder about the early experiences of some of the adults in the audience.
Right before the show started a fight almost broke out because someone put a chair on another person’s blanket. The person in the chair was refusing to move. Another person approached and threatened to “help” the person out of the chair. The situation was resolved by yet another person mediating and finding the person in the chair another space.
I couldn’t help but wonder about everyone involved and their experiences with confrontation and problem-solving. I came to the conclusion that with quality early childhood experiences, this situation may not have happened. Had these adults been given the opportunity as young child to practice critical thinking and problem-solving? Were they taught as young children how to negotiate with others? Were they given opportunities to function successfully in a group setting? Were they taught how to reflect on another person’s perspective? Were they encouraged to use words instead of bodies to get their needs met?
I think it’s important for teachers of young children to have the adult the child will become in mind. We can’t control everything, but we can provide opportunities for children to practice life skills. How? Let’s go through some scenarios.
Sophie takes a rattle from Max. The teacher can wait to see if Max is upset about the situation before intervening. If Max wants the rattle he may cry. The teacher can model the words that may be used: “Sophie, Max is using the rattle. Give the rattle back to Max. Let’s find you a different rattle.” Max and Sophie may be too young to communicate by verbal language, but communication did happen. So did problem solving. Max was upset and got his needs met by vocalizing his want. Sophie was also communicating by taking the rattle. She wanted to play with that toy, too.
Here’s another example. Children are told to line up at the door to go outside. There’s a mark on the floor showing children where to start the line. Ingrid stands at that line because she wants to be first. John gets in front of her. Ingrid takes a deep breath then says, “John, we can’t open the door if you are there. I am standing at the line. You have to move.” The teacher, who is standing nearby, validates Ingrid for using her words and waits for John to move. Conflict averted.
Healthy emotional development is a life long process. Just like we don’t teach toddlers algebra, we shouldn’t expect them to share consistently. We don’t teach first graders chemistry formulas, and we shouldn’t expect them to not get upset when someone takes their seat. But when we start healthy behaviors at a young age, we are assisting in forming healthy adults.