Tag Archives: behavior

“I always feel like somebody’s watching me”

When I was a little girl my sister and I used to play “school.”  Being the little sister I always played the role of “student.” I was never allowed to be the “teacher.”  It was fun playing with my sister and learning from her. I idolized my sister and wanted to be exactly like her. She was my role model. Eventually, my sister became tired of this game and I was finally allowed to be the “teacher.” Each afternoon I planned my lessons and then taught my dolls and teddy bears about the alphabet, reading, and counting. It was then I decided to become a teacher when I grew up so I could help real children learn to read and count.

Make sure children model YOUR best behavior.

I fulfilled that dream and began my career in a classroom filled with eager three- and four-year-olds. I was quite naive when I began my career and I must admit I made many mistakes. But as I gained experience I became more confident in my abilities. I learned the importance of scanning my classroom to get a sense of the activities occurring around me. I learned to tune into certain conversations between children to watch intently to gather knowledge on the students’ abilities. I soon discovered that watching and listening would also teach me about myself and my teaching style. I learned I had become a role model for not only my students but also their parents.

One day during free-choice time I had the pleasure of observing a young student of mine.  She sat in my chair and directed her students to sit crisscross applesauce. She chose a book and proceeded to read it. She smiled, encouraged her students to read along with the story and re-directed a child when he moved into another child’s space. As the “teacher” continued, I could hear my words coming from her mouth; I could see my facial expressions flying across her face. I saw myself reading the story aloud. I was stunned speechless. I never realized how intently the children watched me and picked up on my mannerisms and talked like me. It was both humbling and a bit scary. I began to fully understand and feel the responsibility of being a role model.

As the school year continued I was more aware of what I said, how I said it, and to whom I talked. I noticed my students and even their parents watching and listening as I redirected children toward appropriate activities, as I provided the language to help solve conflicts, as I praised positive behavior instead of correcting the negative. As a role model I was concerned with how each interaction would be interpreted. I wanted to be certain I always showed a balance of firmness with kindness, consistency with flexibility, and love for my job.

It is so easy to forget that even though we spend our days within a classroom in our own world that others really are watching. It is easy to forget that little eyes and ears are absorbing our every word and action. It’s easy to forget that parents look to us when handling difficult situations with children. As providers, we are role models and it is our responsibility to help children and other adults in becoming role models for generations to come. We have the power to influence our ever-changing world. Let’s use our power for the good of all.

Rewarding Children–at What Cost?

It is human nature to want to be recognized for a job well done. In contrast to how good we feel when we’re rewarded for our efforts, we certainly dislike when our behaviors or actions are neither desired nor rewarded. Have you ever wondered how rewarding children, or not rewarding children, might affect their behavior?

As a trainer for early childhood teachers, I’ve had the opportunity to facilitate discussions on rewarding children: the pros and cons, the outcomes, why we do it. Many teachers have theorized that rewarding young children can lead to positive behavior, while another teacher may have experiences of quite the opposite. In a discussion online in The New York Times, the editor talks with Alfie Kohn, keynote speaker at our last Early Childhood Conference and nationally recognized speaker on education and parenting, about how rewarding children is often only a temporary solution, and doesn’t affect behaviors in the long term. I always ask myself if I want children to expect a reward for everything, and the answer, of course, is no. Though I have as an adult been rewarded for a good deed, I don’t expect recognition every time. Positive behavior and good deeds should come easily and be what’s expected, not the reward.

Teachers should be cautious when implementing any reward system. A reward system, like many other routine interactions, sends a variety of messages to children, and families, and not always the ones that we want. Some factors you may want to consider when implementing a reward system include: is the method of reward development appropriate for children? Can you really observe and recognize the behavior of each child in your care? Are the results of children’s behavior kept confidential? Are the rewards appropriate for young children?

There’s a big difference between rewarding and positive reinforcement, which is often what we intend to do when we offer rewards. The way we communicate with children, and how we teach them to communicate in turn, can be far more powerful than offering a sticker or a special treat. Ask yourself, which strategy will provide the best learning, rewarding behaviors or using positive reinforcement? The answer might surprise you.