Children get overwhelmed, too!

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Josh Craig

Have you ever sat down at the end of the day and thought, “Wow, I need a break!” I am sure that young children feel the same way, and maybe for many of the same reasons. Our classrooms are a nonstop assembly of activities. Dynamics change as we move throughout the day with children arriving and departing and teachers rotating in and out. Even during nap times there are papers to fill out, planning to do and other preparations.

Tips for child care providers on strengthening children through relationships with their parents.

There is so much going on that sometimes I feel we forget what’s on the other side of door for the children; we forget to ask how what is going on at home. Reminding ourselves that children can feel overwhelmed with all of the events filling their days, both in child care and at home, can help us better understand their emotions and behavior.

The most important thing you can do to better understand  the children in your care is to talk with parents about what is going on in their lives. Go further than the usual, “Hello, how are you?” It will help you to build stronger, trusting relationships with parents. It shows that you care about them as a family and for their well-being.

When you notice a child saying a particular phrase or acting a certain way, don’t feel afraid to ask the parents or family members about it. Phrases such as, “I noticed Fara talking a lot about concrete this week,” or “Tom has been watching the infants with a lot of curiosity lately” can be great icebreakers in starting a conversation with parents.

When a child’s emotions and behaviors change dramatically it could be a clue that something is happening in their lives. Children respond to stress and feelings of being overwhelmed the same as adults. Checking in with the other adults in their lives can help alleviate stress on you.

So at the end of the day when you just need to take a load off, consider reflecting on those young people in your care. How might you be able to understand them better?

Filed under: Advocating for Children, Early Childhood, Parents | Leave a Comment »

Listen With Your Eyes

Posted on February 13, 2013 by 4cforchildren

Everyone knows that listening is a big part of communicating with children. But have you ever thought about listening with your eyes as well as your ears? Observing a child’s non-verbal communication is one way to find out what’s really on their mind.

Even as adults we sometimes have a hard time putting our true feelings into words. Children find it even harder. By reading a child’s expressions and subtle ways of moving you can get a fuller picture. And once you see what’s on your child’s mind, tuning in and responding becomes much easier.

Reading a child's body language is just as important as listening to what they are saying.

Photo courtesy of Lee LeFever.

Listening with your eyes isn’t difficult. In fact, most teachers learn it from the experts: babies. A baby who silently turns down the corners of his mouth has effectively delivered their message.  A baby who turns his head away while playing an exciting game of peek-a-boo may be saying, “Whew, this sure is fun, but I need a minute to calm down.”  In the same way, a wide-eyed look of wonder or a wrinkled brow tells a teacher whether to keep on playing or call a momentary halt. By listening with your eyes, you can figure out when a baby has had enough, when she wants more, what she’s afraid of, and what she’s fascinated by.  All without her saying a word.

It works with older children, too. A child in your class tells you he has had a great day at school, but bites his lip and looks out the window as he says it. His expression makes you decide to sit down and talk for awhile. You notice that one of the girls in your class will raise her eyebrows when you tell her it is time to clean up the dramatic play area. Seeing her expression makes you think that maybe she really was not ready to clean up and you have interrupted her work.  You give her the benefit of the doubt. You witness two children playing a new board game in your classroom. You notice one child lift his hand to their mouth in hesitation when it’s his turn. You help out with a subtle hint instead of telling him that everyone’s waiting on him and we need to move the game along.

Listening with your eyes as well as with your ears can help you figure out and respond to what your children are feeling as well as to what they’re saying.  It may mean glancing away from a clean-up routine, picking up the block area, cleaning out the paint jars, supervising the bathroom line or any one of a thousand things a busy teacher has to get done.  But what you “hear” with that glance may well be worth a thousand words.

- Karen

Filed under: Best Practice, Early Childhood, Infants and Toddlers, Parents, Preschool | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

The Best Job in the World

Posted on December 17, 2012 by 4cforchildren

Joy StoverOn October 8 at 7:35 p.m., I was blessed with my third little angel, Kenneth Abraham. During my pregnancy so many people asked if I was planning on going back to work. My reply? “Of course! Why wouldn’t I? This is my third baby!”I thought I would just jump right back into the swing of things because I was such a pro, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I think this one has been the hardest transition for me because I know he is my last!

As my older two were growing up I used to say, “I can’t wait until he can roll over,” or “I can’t wait until she can talk,” but with Kenny I want to cherish every smile, every tear, every cry and every giggle! He slept for 8 and a half hours last night and while a part of me is jumping for joy that we have a sleeper, I am feeling sad that the midnight “dates” he and I shared in the rocking chair by his bedroom window snuggling close together every few hours are going to dwindle away. I’m even becoming a little jealous of his caregiver because she often gets to see more of him than I do.

Those of us who care for these precious little ones have such a huge responsibility. Have you ever stopped and thought about who you are caring for each day? Mother and Father’s sweet baby, Grandma and Papa’s dear little ones, Auntie’s little stinker… what an undertaking! In the office we often use the phrase “success by six” to describe just how important early childhood is. Children’s brains are developing at such a high rate and it is our responsibility to make sure we aid in this process, which means knowing the rules and regulations and learning about what is developmentally appropriate in our professional development each year. We aren’t baby sitters, we’re child care professionals! Being a mom, being an early childhood educator… they’re both the best job in the world.

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Gun Play in the Classroom

Posted on November 14, 2012 by 4cforchildren

As I drove past a local Veteran’s Memorial on Veteran’s Day, my son asked why there were so many people at the park. I reminded him that it was Veteran’s Day. He proceeded to tell my daughter all about soldiers and how they keep us safe. Living only a few miles from an air force base, we see soldiers on a daily basis. While we don’t see them carrying the weapons, he understands that this uniform means they have the right to carry a gun. The fact that the soldiers carry guns was an important bit of information my son felt the need to pass on to my daughter.

This mention of guns, of course, added a new element to the discussion. My daughter’s perception of guns is they are bad and dangerous, while my son’s perception is that they are for policemen and soldiers to help keep us safe. Over the years we have had many conversations with our children regarding guns. We have many friends that are police officers and his knowledge of guns comes from these conversations, not television or movies.

As educators, we must be aware that guns, like anything you ask a child not to do, will become a forbidden fruit of sorts and all the more enticing. As a teacher I found two things to hold true when children started pulling their finger guns and hand swords. First, every time I observed children involved in this type of play I reminded the children of our classroom rules about guns: we don’t point them at someone else and if this behavior scares another child we needed to stop. Second, the less I said after our conversation the less time they spent engaged in the behavior.

The notion of children playing with weapons, mimicking gun sounds and making them with their hands is always sensitive and cultural. While some research suggests that gun play does not lead to real violence, remember that many parents will have different ideas about what is appropriate, and that some children, like my son, may have a very positive outlook on guns. However you choose to handle this type of play, be sure that you are open and honest with families and state your classroom rules clearly.

Filed under: Early Childhood, Parents, Preschool, School Age | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Helping Parents Through Transitions

Posted on November 8, 2012 by 4cforchildren

About two months ago I wrote about my personal transition experience, and I am happy to say that things are working out for me in my new space. I feel like I am fitting in! While I offered some tips in that blog about helping children to transition, I realized I missed the opportunity to share how to help parents through transitions, too. It is sometimes as difficult for moms and dads as it is for their children!

We often talk about helping families adjust to the center for the first time. There are forms to fill out, teachers to meet and children’s schedules organize. However, there are other times that can be just as stressful for families. For some parents it feels like they’ve just dropped off a tiny baby, and suddenly their child is walking into the toddler room! Their baby is getting to be a “big kid.” These transitions are ones that we frequently miss, because for us, they are a natural part of life in child care.

We should stop and think about these changes from a parent’s perspective.  We should ask ourselves: What are they really feeling? Why are they feeling this way? How can we help make it easier?  When a parent feels strong emotions about a transition, I often tried to look at some of it as a good thing! The families feel so comfortable with their current situation and are so happy with the quality of learning and care their child has been receiving that it’s hard to leave! It was very hard for that parent to leave their 6-week-old infant with a stranger, but now you and that parent have a relationship. You’ve shared stories about the baby’s day and nights, celebrated about milestones and cringed along with the parents when she get her first incident report. These families trust us with their little ones, and we need to trust them, too.

We know when a child is ready for the next room because we’ve worked with children, we know all about their development and how to best support their learning. But how much of that knowledge are we sharing with parents? Discuss with them how their child is ready, and how their child will thrive in a new space. Encourage parents to observe the new classroom.  Answer their questions about why things are different, and base it on what you know about their child.   You can also encourage parents to talk with other parents whose children have recently transitioned to a new classroom or to elementary school. Just like their babies, just like I did in my new position, parents need a little hand-holding sometimes, too. We all do.

Filed under: Best Practice, Directors & Administrators, Early Childhood, Parents, School Age | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Connect and Recharge

Posted on October 17, 2012 by 4cforchildren

This past weekend I participated in a biking riding event. After a 25 mile ride along the rolling hills of the scenic Ohio River, a meal was provided to the riders. This gave us the opportunity to celebrate completing the ride, and also refuel physically and socially with our peers.  The meal was a wonderful idea — and just what I needed after a long ride! Whenever I get the chance to sit down with friends and family and share a meal, I call it “Connect and Recharge Mealtime”– it is one of my favorite times of day!

Just as adults need mealtimes to connect and recharge, so do children! Mealtime meets many important needs of children. Physical needs are met when nutritious foods are served. Social and emotional needs are met through positive conversations with their family, peers and caregivers. Their cognitive needs are met with rich language experiences shared during table talk.

Here are a few simple steps to turn your regular mealtimes into meals that help students connect and recharge:
-offer nutritious foods
-involve the children by having them assist in setting the table and cleaning up
-encourage children to take their time and not to rush while eating
-provide relaxing and comforting routines
-model appropriate table manners
-sit with the children to observe for safety and support rich positive conversation

Next weekend I will participate in another biking event – the Hilly 100! That’s right – 100 miles of biking in southern Indiana. I am looking forward to the ride, but even more, I am looking forward to the mealtime after the event. Boy, will I need to recharge and connect!!!

– Stephannie

Filed under: Best Practice, Parents, teachers | Leave a Comment »

Shyness Is Not a Character Flaw

Posted on August 29, 2012 by 4cforchildren

I am the mother of three, and as most mothers confess: “Each of my children is different”.

The oldest has an opinion to share with everyone and will argue his point until you are so exhausted you just give up the discussion. My youngest (and the only girl) is the talker of the family. She has never met a stranger. The middle one is the shy one. He was born with a speech delay and, for his first five years of life, he really struggled with vocabulary and pronunciation. I think that is where his shyness began. Adults were kind and patient. Children would walk away or ignore him if they did not understand him, and that contributed to his shying away from his peers. If you are a teacher or a parent of a shy child, you’ve probably already encountered adults or peers who see a child’s shyness as a character flaw, or a problem waiting to be fixed.

Shy children need someone who will protect them from being labeled in this way.  People sometimes talk about shy children in front of them, as if they are invisible. Words like withdrawn, introverted or inhibited can hurt. Think kids don’t understand?  Take note: children are experts at reading tone of voice and expression. Being labeled (even when you’re not sure what the words mean) can make anyone feel incompetent, and it sure doesn’t help put shy children at ease socially.

Shy children need adults who believe watching is a valuable way to learn.  Some researchers have suggested that shy children are more visually perceptive than outgoing children. Because shy children take in more, new sights can seem overwhelming at first. They take a brief look, pull back, and then take longer and longer looks until they actually begin to enjoy what they see. Eventually, they may join in. Watching can help a shy child understand new situations. Adults need to understand that watching is a legitimate way of being a part of what is going on.

Shy children need support in moving into new situations. When you’re very young, almost every situation is something new that takes getting used to. You can help your shy child learn that he can handle new things if he takes it on gradually. Keep in mind that enjoying just a portion of an activity willingly can build more confidence than being forced to endure the whole thing. Pushing children to join in when they feel uncomfortable usually backfires.

Shy children need time to recharge afterwards. Shy children put a great deal of effort into new social situations, even when they’re thoroughly enjoying themselves. Afterwards they may need to recharge by slowing down and processing what happened.

We Americans place a high value on sociability. That can make it hard for teachers and parents of shy children to give them the time, compassion and understanding they need.  My son is now 23. Though he loves adult interaction, he is still a bit shy around his peers. He is, however, the king of one-liners! The one lesson that I have learned as a parent and an educator:  Shyness is a strength to build on, not a character flaw!

- Karen Middendorf

Filed under: Advocating for Children, Early Childhood, General, Parents, teachers | 4 Comments »

Celebrating What’s Right!

Posted on August 23, 2012 by 4cforchildren

This year I have had the privilege of serving as the facilitator for the monthly sessions of 4C’s leadership seminar for administrators. Developing Early Childhood Leaders (DECL) is designed to help administrators further develop leadership and advocacy skills in the field of early childhood education. This month we watched a video titled “Celebrating What’s Right With the World.” Dewitt Jones, a photographer for National Geographic, narrates the video while we see his striking images from all over the world.  He shares experiences and life lessons learned as his job has taken him all over the world.

As I viewed his masterpieces and listened to his pearls of wisdom, one stuck with me and resonated. Dewitt said to celebrate what’s right with the situation instead of griping about what’s wrong. This makes us more receptive to change and gives us the energy to change.

Classroom teachers are dealt a hand each morning that they have very little control over:  Maddie’s mom is angry that her shirt was dirty yesterday, Kerry is acting out in class because her parents are divorcing. Bryce’s dad always drops him off at 6:30 am and he is tired all day in class. At first glance it may be difficult to see what you could possibly celebrate in challenging situations like these, but you have to look closely at each situation and dig deep. Maddie’s mom cares about her daughter’s appearance and is sharing her feelings with you because she feels safe enough to do so. Kerry feels comfortable enough to express her feelings in your classroom because she knows you care about her. Bryce’s dad is a hard worker and values the care you offer each day when he has to be at work early. When you begin to realize what a family’s values are, you will begin to understand the family’s culture.  Understanding the views of our families is essential to providing individualized instruction. We will also have a better line of communication that will make future problems easier to solve.

Filed under: Advocating for Children, Early Childhood, Family Child Care, General, Parents, teachers | Leave a Comment »

New Kid on the Block

Posted on August 16, 2012 by 4cforchildren

Recently, a colleague asked me how I was settling into my new position at 4C. I told her that I loved my job, but I was frustrated with myself. I found it was sometimes difficult being new and not the seasoned “expert.” In my previous position I had a comfortable routine and families I’d developed strong relationships with. But now I’m the new girl! I’m learning new information and new ways of doing things, making new friends and trying to find my way around a new city. My colleague made a great observation: “What a great way to think about how children must feel when they transition to a new classroom, or come to a center for the first time.”

I have spent a lot of time during my career thinking about, talking about and working on making transitions easier for children and families. But while thinking, talking and doing are one thing, “feeling” the transition is much different. I began to imagine infants that might be uncomfortable with the new smells, sounds and sights of a classroom, the toddler whose new classmates don’t play the same as their former friends or the preschooler that is perhaps also hearing a new language.

During visits to infant/toddler classrooms the past few weeks, I was interested to hear about the different ways teachers helped children feel comfortable. One teacher talked to me about going to visit a former toddler in the preschool room. Another teacher talked about encouraging parents to bring in blankets from home that carried their scent so that their baby had a part of them close.  I also noticed pictures of families in classrooms, and notes from parents about what comforts their child. Whether children are coming from home or the room next door, there are lots of ways we can help them transition!

  • Take your cues from families. How do parents interact and talk with their child? What words do they use at home to describe routines? What makes their child happy or sad?
  • Ask the child’s family or their current teacher about the child’s favorite activity, then plan for that during the first few days that the child is in your room. If the children are older, ask them about what they like to do!
  • When a child is transitioning out of your classroom, talk with their new teacher. Share information about what the child likes and what words, routines and strategies have worked for you.
  • Talk with the children that are transitioning about the “move” and their new classroom. Make sure that you are keeping in mind the child’s temperament. Some children need to have a lot of information and time to process things, while it may make other children more nervous if they know too far in advance.
  • If you notice a child is having a hard time, make sure that you acknowledge those feelings! Talk to them about their family or the friends and teachers that they are missing.  Providing pictures from home or from the other classroom can sometimes be helpful.
  • Help or encourage them to write notes home or to their past teachers and friends.

Change is hard, but knowing that you’re supported and understood helps at any age. Take it from me, and from the children who will be transitioning into your classrooms this fall!

Filed under: Early Childhood, Infants and Toddlers, Parents, Preschool, School Age | 1 Comment »

Unplug Your Summer!

Posted on August 3, 2012 by 4cforchildren

This is the first summer that my children have not attended some kind of camp during their summer break from school. The lesson I’ve learned? TV is evil!

I am taking measures in my home to decrease screen time for my children, but playing outside is apparently the worst suggestion I can make for how they ought to be spending their time! All I hear is how hot it is and that there is nothing to do, but for years both of my children participated in summer camps where they were outside 100 percent of the time sweating their brains out, playing in creeks, building forts and playing games, all the while getting extremely dirty. I could go on and on about the stories they would come home with when I asked them, “So, what did you do today?”

But when I ask that same question these days the answer seems to revolve around a TV character or what new game they found online or which level they finally made it to on their DS. And I have to ask myself, what about the kids out there that spend their summer plugged in because that is the only child care their parents can afford? Or if the child care program they attend while their parents are at work only takes children outside for 15 or 20 minutes per day (if that) to play on the same swing set they have been playing on for years?

Despite the fact that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends absolutely no screen time for children under two due to language delays, this just isn’t the reality in many homes and child care programs. According to the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, 40 percent of infants are regular viewers of screen media, and preschoolers spend on average 32 hours a week with screen media. The American Academy of Pediatrics also states that school age children shouldn’t be exposed to more than two hours of total screen time per day, but that’s obviously not the case for many children, including mine recently! So, what can we do differently?

While parents can set guidelines for screen time in the home (I am making my children “earn” their TV time by completing chores and spending some much-needed time outside), I would encourage child care programs to avoid TV completely.  Children are almost certainly getting some of their screen time at home after they leave our programs, and we have the opportunity during the day to give them new experiences and enrich their lives. I am hard pressed to find something that is more worthwhile on the TV than in real life! The rewards that come from sitting down with a child and reading a book together, playing a game or just talking with them are endless. They feel nurtured, special and are being exposed to new vocabulary. You just can’t replicate that with a screen!

Filed under: Early Childhood, Family Child Care, Infants and Toddlers, Parents, Preschool, School Age | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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